I finally got back to work on my work-in-progress. I feel good that I moved forward, though I don't know how good the actually writing is. I was just staring at the papers, thinking how do I start? Then I picked them up, I read a couple pages back to recall where in the story this was, and I just started. I'm trying not to worry about creating beautiful prose right now, I'm just trying to get the story from point A to point B. The more I write, the more I feel good about writing, about what I'm creating. The more I write, the more I want to write. It's a circle and I hope to stay on track.
Monday, June 27, 2016
Friday, June 17, 2016
I wanted to get so much done this week. Instead I feel like I've accomplished nothing. The routine things were done. I worked. Children went to school. Activities were attended. Food was cooked. But all the Other things I do, that I want to do, was left neglected. A week ago, I thought I felt that old energy coming back to me. I thought, Now, I will connect again. I didn't.
Where I should I find my creativity, I feel only sadness, anger, even hate. I have second-guessed so many choices, so many thoughts and decisions. In the end, though I think I should have chosen something else, I didn't. This is what it is.
I don't mean to sound so dramatic. I don't want to. I want to find that energy I used to use, to write these posts, to think about my characters, to create new worlds.
I'm going to keep searching, because I have to, I must. I have decided on a path to help me and I hope it really will. What I think it means is that I not only have to dive deep, I have to dive apart.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
I totally went axe-throwing last weekend and it was awesome. I had so much fun. I'm trying to come up with an occasion or reason for us to go again. Last weekend, it was a friend's birthday, the wife invites us and tells us about the axe-throwing surprise. It was almost all couples. I am reluctant to admit it, but like most of the women there, I was hesitant, not thinking I was strong enough to do it. (I honestly wasn't worried about aim, I've always been okay with that).
The young men there split us into two groups and started training us. It was so fun. My first go was a bit awful. I could make it to the target, but I wasn't getting enough rotation to get my axe to stick into the target. By my second bit of training, I started to get the hang of it. I ended up getting pretty good at it. I was tied for 5th most points (out of 12, so above half), but the part that made me the most excited was that I tied with my Hubby! Then in the game we played against each other, I beat him. It shouldn't make me so happy, but it does. Not (just) because I beat him, but because I think of him as more active and athletic than me. I think of him as being better at sports and outdoor activities in general. That I could match him really boosted my confidence and my desire to try new things. Honestly, I really had fun doing it too. I don't know why. Because I got to throw an axe at a hunk of wood? Maybe. If you want something fun and different to do, go axe-throwing!